A few weeks ago I tried to pick a lock. Long story short, a realtor forgot a key lock box on my mother’s door and we could not get ahold of him to remove it. I read online instructions about how to pick this combination lock - complete with diagram describing tumblers and pins and getting three of them to drop into place in the right sequence. Aside from not knowing the combination, you had to figure out the last number of the combination first and work backwards, making note of your steps to then put the numbers in the correct order. Sound complicated? It was. In order to find each number, it required delicately wiggling the dial between each two numbers on the dial until you “felt” a tumbler drop and had an AHA moment!
It occurs to me that the process of moving and settling in is a heck of a lot like trying to pick a lock, but a lot higher stakes as it relates to our own existence/ well-being/sanity. I have almost been here in Dakar three weeks and I am quietly trying to make the pins drop into place, gingerly feeling through each new situation, sometimes getting close, sometime not, but not really knowing if I have figured it out at all. I could have the right number, then again, my “feel” might have been totally wrong. Is this the right number? Is it not? Am I putting the numbers together in the right order?
The past three weeks and it have been hard for me - not all hard, but lots hard. We have not moved into our new home yet (Monday, fingers crossed) and our temporary place has irritating quirks. And Dakar isn’t exactly as I remember it. I am constantly adjusting expectations, reconfiguring, changing course between what I imagined and what is the reality here. There is so much uncertainty surrounding this move since this is our first independent move, not sponsored by some organization. Not only is my husband’s business a big question mark hanging over our heads, but my goals / dreams / aspirations are big question mark. I am working hard not to beat myself up or set unrealistic expectations. I read a Yung Pueblo quote recently: “Days where it is hard to do your best are perfect to practice not punishing yourself.” (Continued below)
